The Baystate Objectivist

The Baystate Objectivist

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Message from Mars

Footprints in the Sands of Time by Jerry Garcia

Sorry folks about not posting anything yesterday, I had such an overwhelming number of matters to attend to that I hadn't a free minute for blogging. Today isn't an awful lot better, but I do have time to put up a few items that have been hanging around the World Headquarters.

Just when I think my old friend Karl Mayfield must be in a strait jacket or a cemetery, I'll suddenly get some kind of missive from him, which may or may not be comprehensible but which at least alerts me that he is alive and occasionally in touch with this world. There is never a return address.

I knew Karl back when his name was spelled "Carl" and we were students at The World Famous Thomas M. Balliet Elementary School. But Karl was always lurking inside Carl, he just needed the right chemical combinations to be released. Karl is best known to Valley folk as the chief creative force behind the spacecase rock n' roll combo Martian Highway, which was at the center of some of the wildest scenes ever to go down in the Pioneer Valley. Here's a picture of Karl in 1981.

Just this week a postcard arrived in the snail mail from Karl, the front of which was very cool.

However, the message on the back of the postcard doesn't make any sense to me. In fact, I give the post office a lot of credit for figuring out the address. Does it make any sense to you? You can click on the picture to make it larger if that helps.

O Karl! O Deep Space Voyager! How often when I think I am on virgin territory I spot your wayward footsteps on the sands of time, stumbling towards a tornado.

Even if you have seen this "hugs" video before, I dare you to watch again without smiling.

Those lovable crazies at Hampshire College who are behind the organization SCREWY (Society for the Creative Realization of a Weirder You) have been inspired to start a hugs campaign of their own, but instead of trying to get hugs from random passerby, they are taking their hugs campaign door to door in the dorms with comical results.

Finally, here is a political joke.

Dear Abby:

My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating.

Also, since he lost his job six years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and bullshit with his buddies while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me and hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do?

Signed: Clueless
Dear Clueless:

Grow up and dump him. Good grief, woman. You don't need him anymore. You're a United States Senator from New York. Act like one.


caitlin said...

The postcard is written in German.

Caitlin, UMass GOP

Weg said...

I knew Karl when we were both stationed on Ramstein Air Base in Germany. He was one of the coolest dudes I have ever met.

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