The Baystate Objectivist

The Baystate Objectivist

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Assorted Academia

On campus.

At the Robert Frost Library at Amherst College there recently appeared this germicide contraption.

You put your hand under it and some cum-like goo comes out which you then rub all over your hands. In the old days you didn't have to worry about germs in the library because books are poor surfaces for germs to live. However today nearly everyone who goes to the library works on computers, and you never know who touched or sneezed on the keyboard before you. I predict these germicide dispensers will soon be in all libraries.

At UMass the manufacturers of Stride chewing gum brought a giant hummer on campus to promote their product.

Some students thought a giant gas-guzzler was inappropriate during Earth Week and made this sign.

It reads: "Big Corporations Off Campus - Stride and their hummers are not welcome at Earth Week."

The University is cleaning the outside of the UMass Grad Research Center. It is not a job for those afraid of heights.

I used to work in the Grad Research Center, before drug addiction made me unemployed. I want to go to work and get off welfare, but who will hire an old queer stoner?

Stoners were ooohing over this hookah on display today in the campus center.

So if you go chasing rabbits
And you know you're gonna fall
Just tell 'em a hookah smoking character
Has given you the call
He called Alice
When she was just small


Anonymous said...

Those Purell dispensers are popping up in grocery stores too. Saw one in the Stop & Shop recently.

Tony said...

Make room for Super-Bacteria...

jim666 said...

according to the latest internet information, shopping cart handles are loaded with bacteria from saliva, blood residue and other undesirable crud

VanDog said...

Who is the inadequate executive that thought a giant hummer would get the company some action?

Just go around the board room with a ruler and I'm sure you'll find him.

Bill Dusty said...

If I had money and a payroll, Tom, I'd hire you in a second!

For visiting college campuses, it sure was a strange choice of a vehicle. At the least, they could have rolled up in a foreign - oops! I mean international - car.

Bill Sweet said...

"who will hire an old queer stoner?"

Don't lose hope. Though your comment reminded me of what William Burroughs, as Father Murphy, said in Drugstore Cowboy,

"The world has little use for an elderly drug addict."

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