The Baystate Objectivist

The Baystate Objectivist

Wednesday, April 9, 2008


Free food, free music, free laughs, free Tibet.

I've often said that if you buy lunch at UMass it's because you're too lazy to search out the free food that is always being given away daily by some group or cause. Of course you have to be a fan of hamburgs, hot dogs and pizza (lots and lots of pizza) but that's no problem for someone like me who loves cholesterol clogged cuisine. Today's invitation to a free lunch arrived by means of a cement wall.

I was suspicious about whether the Chancellor would have anything to do with the event, and I realized I was right when I arrived and saw that it was really a protest rally by the union that represents the graduate students who teach on campus.

However, the University President was present, at least in effigy.

This protester wanted to give the impression that she was willing to let it all hang out.

Later the bare-assed babe danced with a rat.

I don't know why the graduate students have been without a contract for fourteen months. Perhaps the students are making unreasonable demands. Perhaps the administration is being stubborn. Most likely it is a combination of the two. In any case, I consider any event where free food is served to be worth attending.

That was not the only protest on campus today. Over by the Student Union a group of students supporting China confronted a group demanding freedom for Chinese occupied Tibet.

Confronting might be too strong a word. The Chinese students were incredibly polite, and passed out leaflets with statements on them like, "The Free Tibet Movement is not a passion for freedom, but a distaste for peace and hope."

Gee, whatever happened to the classic old slogans like, "Up against the wall, motherfucker!"

Oh to hell with politics! I left the Tibet debate and walked over to join a nearby rally for dancing! Actually I think they were promoting a student musical, but it felt like a celebration of being young and alive on a beautiful spring day.

It's been a long, cold winter but it's finally over.

Elsewhere on campus, a shark was prowling the campus center to alert people to the upcoming student Comedy Jam.

The public is invited and at my favorite price - FREE! So stop by for a few laughs.

Every week UMass puts on a recent movie for free so that the students will have something to do besides sitting around the dorms drinking and getting high. However, from what I've seen it doesn't work because the students all show up for the film stoned anyway! Oh well, at least they saw a good one in the latest Johnny Depp film Sweeney Todd.

It's a musical and I usually dislike films where the characters suddenly burst into song. However this one I enjoyed despite some flaws. The movie is absurdly violent, and the subplot about human meat pies is silly, but the overall story of vengeful justice is pretty good. I recommend you rent it.

Finally, here's a deeply weird video.

A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race
appear?' The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.'

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.

The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.' The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'

The mother answered, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.'


Mary E.Carey said...

Hilarious joke and I love how you captured the spirit of UMass on a nice spring day.

Andrea Murray said...

Ha, I'm in the background of the video.

The dancing was for "promedy" which was related to the shark thing, it was all for the sketch 22 performances.