On Gay Divorce

The Flip Side of Gay Marriage

 



Hillary and Julie Goodrich, the Massachusetts poster girls for gay marriage, are calling it quits. According to The Boston Herald:

The Jamaica Plain lesbians whose passionate love led to the groundbreaking legalization of same-sex marriage in Massachusetts have called it quits and filed for divorce, the Herald has learned.

But one-time international gay icons Hillary and Julie Goodridge, who share custody of their 12-year-old daughter, Annie, are less eager to be poster partners for gay divorce. Their case, filed Thursday in Suffolk Probate and Family Court, is impounded....

High-profile Boston divorce attorney Gerald Nissenbaum - who does not represent either woman - said just as when a sick child might keep a heterosexual union intact for a time, it’s possible that when the Goodridges’ shared goal to legalize same-sex marriage was accomplished, the steam went out of the relationship....

“Whenever there’s a cause that keeps people together, once the cause is over, in my experience, there’s a high rate of dissolution of the relationship,” he said. “It’s sad, but it’s real. And what a surprise: Gay people are like everyone else.”

After the legalization of gay marriage in Massachusetts in 2004, I had this to say about the prospect of future gay divorces. I think it still rings true today.

 



What gay newlyweds may discover at their leisure, just as many heterosexuals do, is that marriage is a legal contract. Despite all the romantic fluff we wrap it in, signing a marriage certificate has the same legal force as signing a mortgage, a bank loan or a last will and testament. We just prefer not to think of it that way, at least not on our wedding day. 

It really isn't until the marriage goes sour that most people realize, to their dawning horror, that they have legal obligations and responsibilities in marriage that they had no concern for in their early days of wedded bliss. As that wise philosopher Johnny Carson (married four times) once observed, "You never know a relative until there's an inheritance, and you never know a woman until you face her in court." Or as he once put it even more succinctly, "The next time I think I want to get married, I'll spare myself a lot of aggravation and just find a woman I can't stand and buy her a house."

Just wait until the first gay marriages are followed by the first gay divorces. Wait until there are the first gay alimony payments and divisions of property. Many gay people at that point may wonder whether the right to marry was such a wonderful blessing after all. Besides, I always thought that one of the few advantages of being gay in our society was that you got to sidestep the burdens of married life. You can have all the sex partners you want, spend all the money you earn on yourself, and enjoy all the freedom and adventure of the single life with no strings attached! Getting married sort of spoils some of the fun of being gay, doesn't it?

I mean if you're going to get married, you might as well be straight and at least have children to drive you crazy, spend all your money on and restrict your liberty; rather than enter into a gay marriage and waste all that sacrifice on a glorified roommate. Gay marriage may be a strong statement of freedom and equality, but rhetoric and reality are not always the same thing, and the gay community may discover that in the long run it was the concept of equality, and not the reality of marriage, that they were really looking for. 

The Right Humor

Comics rarely showed any mercy when it came to making fun of George W. Bush. Indeed, it was not uncommon for humorists to compare him to a monkey. 

Oh, but now the political correctness police are complaining that racism lies behind the comparisons of President Obama to Curious George. 

Anyway, shouldn't the new administration in Washington unleash a new era of ridiculing Democrats? Don't count on it according to Politico:

Have you heard this one?

“So it sure seems like celebrities latched on to President Barack Obama during the campaign. You had Chris Rock, Oprah, even Stevie Wonder.

“Stevie Wonder? Why does he care? If anybody should be colorblind ...”

If you’re laughing, then comic Julia Gorin will be performing here all week, folks. The New York-based stand-up says that line went over pretty well when she launched it recently at a comedy club in Pasadena, Calif.

If you’re frowning, perhaps a bit taken aback, then you represent the conservative comic’s conundrum.

In a world where the TV networks, nighttime comics and major comedy clubs are dominated by liberal humor, right-leaning funnymen continue to struggle. Even with Democrats taking over Washington, they’re pessimistic about things. While the jokes will come easily, they say the laughs will be muzzled. Plus, they moan, conservatives tend not to lend much support to the comedic arts....

“You heard Chris Rock saying that there’s nothing to make fun about Obama,” says New York stand-up comedian Nick DiPaolo, “and I was like, ‘Do you wanna make a bet?’”

DiPaolo, a familiar face on Comedy Central, doesn’t think it really matters one way or the other, though.

“The mainstream media leans left, and the people that run Comedy Central are a lot of Ivy Leaguers who sort of lean left,” he says.

 

Five Years Ago



Hey everybody, let's climb aboard the Wayback Machine and see what I was saying five years ago, in February 2004, about the then newly installed Ryan Administration in Springfield. 

There's an old tradition in American politics that everyone newly elected gets a honeymoon period before they are subjected to the harsh evaluation and criticism that is business as usual in politics. Generally the honeymoon is said to last for the first one-hundred days. This is only right because it usually takes at least that long for a new administration to settle in, do its hiring and firing and to present its policies. Only then should everyone pile on with their gripes and complaints. But in the mean spirited world of Springfield politics, poor Charlie Ryan doesn't seem to be getting his hundred days grace. In fact, I'm not sure he got a honeymoon lasting even a hundred hours!

Charlie is getting it from all sides. In a sense Ryan is the victim of his own integrity. He said during the campaign that, "We are broke, and we have to start acting like it." Part of being broke means not spending money except when it is absolutely necessary. This Ryan has done, even taking on unpaid volunteers instead of filling vacancies, causing some supporters to complain, thus far off the record, that the Ryan Administration is not sufficiently larded with campaign supporters. For goodness sakes the city is on the brink of receivership, let's see if we can get past that hurdle before we embark on any hiring sprees! His supporters should judge the Ryan Administration by how it looks after six months, not six weeks.

Meanwhile, there are a lot of people who wish they had worked a lot harder for the election of Linda Melconian. Ryan's enemies were cynically dismissive of Ryan's good government statements during the campaign, believing that the Ryanites were merely a rival gang looking to do the same things if elected that the Albanoites did. They never imagined that he would actually start dismissing politically powerful deadwood such as Dougherty, Haberlin, Santaniello and the entire board of the Springfield Housing Authority! They thought the Ryan administration would simply be the same circus with different clowns, and that with a few small reforms for public appearances all would return to business as usual. 

The old political establishment is now horrified to find themselves actually on the outside looking in. It's hard not to smile as one observes their discomfort, but don't expect these Ryan administration enemies to just fade into the woodwork. They intend to prove that the Ryan Revolution is fluke by returning to power in two years - and they will pursue that goal by any means necessary.

So between the Ryanites looking for their patronage plums and the Old Regime looking to make a comeback, Charlie's taking heat from all directions. But if he will just stay the course through this stormy time, I predict that there will be days of smoother sailing ahead for the city of Springfield.

 

North Hadley

This afternoon I was out looking at some of the ancient structures to be found in the center of North Hadley. While South Hadley and Hadley proper get a lot of attention, North Hadley remains an overlooked gem. For example, dig this traditional New England church built in 1834. 

The town hall is really cool. Observe the odd shaped cupola at the top. 

It is truly a one of a kind New England classic! 

The houses surrounding these structures are drenched in history as well. Check out North Hadley sometime for a little time travel!