The Baystate Objectivist

The Baystate Objectivist

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Dad News

What happened.

Me and my Dad on his last birthday in August 2007.

My Dad's obituary did not appear in today's paper, but I'm assuming it will tomorrow. The wake will be on Tuesday and the funeral Wednesday morning, but I can't be more specific than that right now.

Although my father, who was 77, has been in decline for most of the year, his death struck us as somewhat unexpected. He had a major operation for lung cancer earlier in the week, but he appeared to be making an amazingly good recovery. Then suddenly he had a stroke and that was that. So I guess you could say his amazing recovery came to an abrupt end!

Thanks so much to everyone who has called or emailed me and my family, I really appreciate it. I know some of you have expressed concern that the stress of a major death in the family might cause me to relapse, but don't worry, that ain't gonna happen! I know nothing could make matters worse than for me to get high.

I will say that it is hard for me to wrap my head around the reality that both of my parents are now dead. Gee, does that make me an orphan? I guess in the natural order of things we are all orphans in the end. I think part of what makes losing a child so hard on people is that it's unnatural - the parents should go before the kids. For me that natural transition is complete. Indeed my parents entire generation is quickly disappearing.

After them, it will be my generation's turn. Now there's something that's hard to wrap your head around!

My relationship with my father in his last year alive was complicated by my discovery that I had an older, full-blooded brother whose existence had been kept a secret from me. Confronting my father about this deeply buried family secret was very difficult and caused tremendous stress for him and for my entire family. However, in the end it was well worth it as my lost brother is now fully integrated into our family. One disappointment however is that my lost brother never got to be in the physical presence of his father, although they did communicate by phone, so at least there is that comfort. If you are not familiar with the whole gripping drama surrounding the discovery of my lost brother, then I invite you to click here.

Anyway, I'll have more detailed information on what's going on tomorrow.

In the meantime, as predicted another terrible storm blew through our Valley last night. I laughed to see this snow covered bike in Amherst today. Did the bicyclist forget and leave it leaning against the tree, or was it abandoned in despair?

In Northampton this morning Channel 40 was broadcasting live from downtown.

Look at the big truck they have to lug around just to broadcast locally. Meanwhile, I can film something and put it on YouTube where everyone on the planet with a computer can see it using only a camera that fits in my pocket. Is it any wonder that the lumbering dinosaurs of the media mainstream are dying?

I was certainly happy not to be meteorologist Eric Fisher this morning, broadcasting in an arctic blast! Notice the blue ribbon around the tree to the left of Fisher. Those are popping up on trees throughout the Valley as a sign of sympathy for the victims of the brutal triple murder in Springfield the other day.

When I'm tempted to feel sorry for how my Dad's death is casting a shadow over my Christmas this year, I remind myself of what that family is going through.


Anonymous said...

I just read about your Dad and I am so sorry. My Dad died when I was very young and when my Mom passed years ago, I went through questioning if I was an orphan and what it meant. It is kind of frightening knowing there are no parents to turn to, or ask questions of anymore. I wish I could describe what it felt like and still feels like, but I can't put it into words,

Kim said...

I'm so sorry about your dad. Love reading your blogs. Glad your back and healthy, stay strong and on track, you have a lot of people pulling for you.

I know exactly how you feel after losing your second parent, Your nobody's kid anymore...Time to grow up cause you are the grown up now. It really sucks.

Mike said...

Hey Tommy,

I am not very saavy with the internet but I happen to see that you posted and reiterated some lyrics from my school project song and video hampshire halloween - I am touched that you understood what I was saying and felt the need to reach out in this limited fashion to tell you so!

God Bless,

Mike Sal
aka Anomie Green MC