2010 Primary Results

 



Well, the people have spoken, God damn them. 

As usual, nearly all the candidates I endorsed went down to defeat, although there were a few bright spots. Perhaps brightest of all was the unexpected success of Worcester area Attorney James P. McKenna (above with family) who ran a sticker campaign to get on the ballot to challenge State Attorney General Martha "The Wicked Witch" Coakley, who was crushed in the Senate race last winter by the heroic Scott Brown. Coakley was left ripe for being removed from office altogether, but the pathetically inept Massachusetts Republican Party failed to field a candidate against her. Yet now against all expectations, Coakley has a challenger after all, proof that once again the Fells Acres Curse is still relentlessly pursuing justice.

Overall turnout sucked. In Springfield and Holyoke a measley 11% voted, leaving it a mystery how the other 89% felt. Democracy has essentially collapsed in those communities, which are now run almost entirely by corrupt political machines. Here are the candidates I endorsed, and the voter's mostly foolish choices, with an analysis of what went right or wrong. 

2nd Congressional District

Dr. Jay Fleitman

Dr. Fleitman was defeated by Tom Wesley (above) despite winning in most of the district's largest cities. However, the good Doctor was no match for Wesley's landslide victories in the small towns in the eastern part of the district. Actually that was how Scott Brown was able to carry the district back in January, and reveals the probable path to victory for Wesley in November - let Neal carry the big city machines and then cream him in the suburbs. But first the disappointed supporters of the good Doctor must quickly climb aboard the Wesley campaign. Sour grapes divisions are an unaffordable luxury in this noble quest to - as Wesley puts it in his campaign signs - Repeal Neal. Now is the time to unite and move forward. 

State Treasurer

Stephen J. Murphy

In this worthless race between the evil political boss Steve Grossman (the winner above) and Boston hack Murphy there could be no victory for the public - any way you look at it neither candidate deserves the office. Republican Karyn Polito is the only credible contender. 

State Auditor

Kamal Jain and Michael E. Lake

I believe libertarian Republican Kamal Jain (above) was the better candidate, but alas he had no money to get out his message. However the woman who beat him, Mary Z. Connaughton, is still far superior to the unqualified career politician chosen by the Democrats, Suzanne Bump. The Auditor's race is probably the Republican party's best chance at winning a statewide office this year. 

Hampden County District Attorney

Jim Goodhines

I said that Goodhines (above) deserved to win by a landslide margin, but instead he ended up finishing dead last in a field of five. What happened? Hard to say, but my impression is that many voters identified Goodhines with the regime of retiring D.A. Bill Bennett, which was not a plus in this anti-establishment year. The winner was the ethically challenged Steve Buoniconti, who reformers from across the political spectrum must now do everything possible to block. Finishing a distant third was Albano era flunkie Michael Kogut - and somewhere in heaven Gerry Daniele is smiling. 

Hampshire/Franklin District Attorney

David Sullivan

My guy won, but who really cares? This was the dullest, most over-rated race of the primary season. 

State Senate Hampden District

Kenneth G. Condon and Susan Dawson

Condon (above) was narrowly defeated by Agawam's Bob Magovern, who is still a much better choice than Democrat contender James Welch, who has failed to distinguish himself in any way during his time as a state representative. Why perpetuate the incompetence?

2nd Hampden House District

Enrico “Jack” Villamaino

I was shocked when voters failed to elect Villamaino (above with Scott Brown) and by all accounts Villamaino took the loss hard.  But the party stalwart who defeated him, Marie Angelides, comes with the highest recommendations and deserves to win in November against the do-nothing incumbent Ashe. 

Third Hampden House District

Mark A. Del Negro

Incumbent Rosemary Sandlin (above with the shady Buoniconti) has been a disappointment in every way. It's a mystery how challenger Del Negro could have lost.

6th Hampden House District

Dean C. Vogel

It's a shame that a candidate of Vogel's high caliber was defeated, but winner Gregory Neffinger is more than qualified to go on to victory in November. 

9th Hampden House District

Sean F. Curran

Hey, if Curran couldn't win against a convicted felon, who could he beat?

Well, moving on from politics here's a local example of truth in advertising. 

The other day I visited the site of the old Mount Tom Ski Resort in Holyoke that closed in 1998. Today the former ski slope is all overgrown. 

Here are the ruins of the resort as seen from the top of the slope.



Over the dozen years the resort has been closed all of the buildings have been vandalized. This abandoned swimming pool was installed as part of a futile attempt to keep the resort alive by having facilities that could be open in the summer.

Some of the vandals were conspiracy theorists. 

Speaking of the towers, Saturday was the day known by everyone simply as 9/11. A solemn silent vigil was held in front of Memorial Hall at UMass.

As usual, the town of Amherst made an ass of itself with a silly controversy over whether to fly flags today. Meanwhile the UMass Republican and Democrat Clubs united to turn the "Gossip Wall" (where students sit gossiping each day at lunch) into a sea of flags.

In Northampton there was a display of chalk art on the sidewalks downtown. Included was this flag tribute.

A very artistic dragon. 

And this being Northampton, not everyone used the chalk in service to art. 

 

 

Top Ten Attractions

Best of the Valley?

 


The Greater Springfield Convention and Visitors Bureau has a nice little website that has a section devoted to what they claim are the ten best tourist attractions in the Pioneer Valley. I don't know how they arrived at that list, but as I have visitors from out of state coming to the area soon I thought I'd check it out. It turns out I've been to every one of those tourist spots save one. Here's a review of these attractions as seen from my perspective.

Yankee Candle Company
Routes 5 & 10, South Deerfield, MA

Who'd a thunk there'd be that much money in hippie candle making? The company website describes their humble beginnings thusly:

Christmas 1969. Seventeen-year-old Mike Kittredge, too broke to buy his mother a present, melted some crayons to make her a candle. A neighbor saw it and convinced Mike to sell the candle to her. With that small stake, he bought enough wax to make two candles - one for his mom, and another to sell. That was the birth of Yankee Candle.

And I'll bet a Grateful Dead record was playing in the background. Things have changed a bit since then:

We sell our candles and other products through a growing nationwide base of over 450 company-owned retail stores (423 Yankee Candle stores and 27 Illuminations stores). We also have a vibrant and growing catalog and online business, an expanding North American wholesale customer network (including approximately 17,500 specialty retailers in the U.S.), our Yankee Candle Fund-Raising division, and international distribution.

Yikes, makes me wish I'd taken the money I used to buy a bong to buy a candle-making kit instead! I've been to the factory, and it's a pretty nice display. Men can be entertained there for an hour, women for a few hours more. But let's face it, candles are only so interesting, and the kids will be bored unless you go at Christmas time.

Grade = B

Six Flags New England
1623 Main Street, Agawam, MA

Part of a multi-billion dollar national chain, this outfit specializes in knock your eyes out special effects and take your breath away thrill rides. Yet, for people of a certain age it is hard not to look behind the glitter and not see the remnants of the old Riverside Amusement Park. Considered chintzy by modern standards, Riverside was none the less more charming, family friendly and a hell of a lot more affordable than this pre-packaged corporate experience. 

Don't get me wrong, you can have fun here if you bring a lot of cash, but something in me will always yearn for the old Riverside, in particular its white trash car racing subculture. The Valley ain't never been the same ever since you could no longer go to Riverside, get shitfaced on beer in paper cups and stagger down to the racetrack to scream with joy over car crashes! And while they're at it, they can bring back Mountain Park too.

Grade = C-plus

The Big E/Eastern States Exposition
1305 Memorial Avenue, West Springfield, MA

Thousands flock to this event every year, and only God knows why. The smelly pigs, noisy fowl and stupid cows are the same year after year. Most kids will weep with boredom unless you leave them in the carnival section. In fact the only thing about the fair that ever changes is the constantly rising prices. Anyone who attends this predictable yawner more than once every five years is a fool who deserves to get ripped off.

Grade = C-minus

Old Sturbridge Village
1 Old Sturbridge Village Road, Sturbridge, MA

I have very fond memories of coming to this magical land of the past as a child on school field trips. A beautiful setting and high educational value combine to make this an essential visit for all who appreciate the wonders of history.

Grade = A

The Springfield Museums
220 State Street, Springfield, MA

Surprisingly underrated and overlooked by the locals, outsiders who visit the Quadrangle museums are very impressed to see something so special in a place so small. Unfortunately the Quadrangle itself has become cluttered by an otherwise fine Dr. Seuss display that actually should have been erected over on the far more appropriate Mulberry Street. Hey, it is still not too late to move it there! Anyway, the museums themselves are endlessly fascinating and well worth the pittance you have to pay to get in if you are a non-Springfield resident.

Grade = A-minus

Bright Nights at Forest Park
Sumner Avenue, Route 83, Springfield, MA

How many times can you say, "Oh look at the pretty lights!" before you want to just slam on the gas and go screeching out of the park? Kids are only mildly entranced, and even then they have to be under age ten. Irony abounds, as a light bulb version of the Barney Mansion, destroyed as the result of a crooked political deal, now exists as a ghostly electric outline. 

Grade = D

CityStage/Symphony Hall
One Columbus Center/Court Street, Springfield, MA

Although a fiscal boondoggle from the taxpayer's perspective, from an artistic one this is a first rate pair. The theater always has solid shows now that Dave Starr is no longer meddling with the line-up, and the Symphony is the Valley's most respected live music ensemble. The conductor is a maniac, and talented enough to get away with it.

Grade = A

Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame
1000 West Columbus Avenue, Springfield, MA

A good test of whether someone is a Springfield native is to ask them if they've ever been to the Basketball Hall of Fame. If they answer no, chances are they were Springfield born and raised. I've never been there, and it's not because I have no interest in basketball. In fact my team at the Our Lady of the Sacred Heart catechism league won the diocese championship one year. 

But nothing I've heard about the Hall has ever intrigued me. There's a place where you can shoot hoops? Yeah, so does every school playground in the Valley, and unlike the HOF, they're free. Once you've seen one superstar's smelly old sneakers you've seen 'em all. I'm told some of the attached restaurants and bars are nice, but I also hear that Michael Albano and his friends hang out around there. I may be a reformed drug addict, but I never fell in with a crowd that bad.

Grade = Who knows or cares?

Brimfield Outdoor Antique Shows
Route 20, Brimfield, MA

There's gold in them thar trash piles! Brimfield is where the Valley's attics and cellars open up to surrender their treasures. You have to know what you're looking for, but the astute Valley historian and antique lover will shout with delight over what they can find at this affair. Of course the dealers are sharp, and know the value of their wares, but there's still a bargain to be found by the true connoisseur.

Grade = A

The Zoo at Forest Park
Sumner Avenue, Route 83, Springfield, MA

This is a worthwhile place to visit. Essentially a petting zoo for small children, it suffers by comparison to the old Forest Park zoo which had lions and tigers and bears, oh my! There's nothing here that could hold a candle to the old monkey house, where the rude simians used to wave their hard-ons and throw their shit at the audience. Now that's entertainment! Yet judged on its own merits the current zoo is a fine educational experience and a solid weekend morning's adventure. Adults will not be too bored.

Grade = B-plus

The Valley List

This list has been floating around for years, but it keeps getting longer and better. It's as if it were a wiki that people keep contributing to. I've culled a few that I thought were lame, leaving you with the best of the 2007 version.

You know you are from Western Mass when...

You're driving 75 on 91 and the idiot from Connecticut behind you is
flashing his lights to pass.

The fact that Routes 5 and 10 are basically the same doesn't confuse you.

You are not afraid of the East Longmeadow rotary.

You actually stop for pedestrians in crosswalks....at least in
Northampton.

You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Bernardston, Athol,
Charlemont, Amherst, Palmer and Holyoke;

You have driven to New York State or Brattleboro, Vermont when you
were 18 to buy beer. (Some of us made this trip much younger!)

You know that the "Calvin Coolidge" is a bridge.

You know what they sell at "packies".

You prayed that the Patriots would move to Hartford.

You laugh at all of the other New England states, especially Connecticut.

You know at least one American Legion (or Polish Club) where you can get served after last call.

You can't comprehend how anyone can find their way around Boston.

You have gone to at least one party at Umass.

You give directions by always referring to where places used to be,
i.e., "It's in West Springfield across from where Abdow's used to be"

Colleges are used as landmarks for direction, i.e., "From Mt. Holyoke go past Hampshire College until you reach Amherst. Go straight through the lights to Umass."

You believe that Bobby Orr is the greatest athlete that ever lived.

You know at least one guy named Stan, Rene, or Sully.

You know that all directions for getting to Westfield start with
"You go to the Purple Onion.....".

You laughed at the kids down south because they never get snow days.

You truly believe that the Memorial Bridge reconstruction project
was the biggest traffic nightmare this state has ever seen.

You know that the Honeypot is a section of Hadley, not a serving
container. (Those of us who traveled the Far East might think it is
something else.)

You have never been to the Basketball Hall of Fame.

You cried when they closed Mountain Park. (It's closed?)

You know where Ware is.

You know that there is a bigger difference between Longmeadow and
East Longmeadow than just a compass direction.

When someone from the Eastern portion of the state calls Umass,
"ZooMass" and you take it as a compliment.

You know that people who call Northampton, "NoHo" are not from 'Hamp'.

You're happy the Red Sox won the world series in your lifetime to
get even with all of the Yankee fans that you have to work with.

You know that springtime means fresh native asparagus.

You know that a "T" is something you wear, not ride to work on.

You take your life in your own hands crossing any local bridge
because all of the state's highway funding has been diverted to the Big Dig.

You know that Hadley is where the buffalo roam, and that it is next
to the People's Republic of Amherst.

You are proud to drink Northampton Ale and think that the rest of
New England (or the world) owes The Brewery a debt of gratitude for
inventing the micro-brew pub.

You think St. Patrick's Day is better than Christmas and you know
where the world's second largest St. Patty's Day parade is held (hint:
NOT Boston).

You go to the Berkshires, instead of "down the Cape".

You know that the best Italian pizza joints are all owned by Greeks.

You went to Old Sturbridge Village, Old Deerfield (or both) on a
grammar school field trip.

You know that Wilbraham is the home of Friendly's.

You actually believe that the Oxbow Marina is "The Boat Mall of the
Northeast."

You know that Westhampton is a drytown.

You know where the town of Enfield, Massachusetts is located.

You know that the Pike is free from Ludlow to New York.

You know that Ludlow is 90% Portuguese and Hadley is 90% Polish.

You know at least one person who works at Yankee Candle and can get you a discount!

You know that the potholes in Shelburne Falls are not in the roads.

If the restroom in your elementary school was called "the basement", even if it was on the 3rd floor.

You used to read the Valley Advocate.

You remember Riverside Amusement Park.

You've snuck into the Exposition

Arlo Guthrie is your neighbor.

You've been snowed on in Goshen...in June.

You avoid "The Flats"

You are glad you live in Western Massachusetts!