Dr. Leary vs. Dr. Seuss

A tale of two doctors. 

 



I'm not sure what the date of this essay is, having found it recently simply among one of the entries in an anthology of some of my Baystate Objectivist pieces entitled The Worst of Tom Devine that was released around 1997. Here is what the cover looked like:

I was surprised when someone emailed me last year and said they bought a copy of that anthology for ten dollars at a tag sale, although it was originally distributed throughout the city for free. Go figure. The image on the front is of Jay Libardi. In the following essay the troubled legacies of both of Springfield's most famous doctors are explored. 

Jaws dropped at the Quadrangle last month when Audrey Geisel, widow of the legendary Dr. Seuss, whipped out a check for one million dollars to donate to Springfield's Seuss Memorial Project. The sputters of surprise were due not just to the unexpected size of the donation but to the fact that the Seuss Estate had made any contribution at all.

City leaders were bitterly disappointed several years ago when the will and testament of Dr. Seuss was first read. Seuss died as wealthy as an oil baron because what parent in the past 40 years hasn't bought their kids at least one Dr. Seuss book? But while his will spread financial gifts far and wide, there wasn't one red cent granted in the will to his old hometown of Springfield.

Explanations for the good Doctor's stinginess toward Springfield vary. Some pointed out that Seuss left Springfield as a young man and almost never returned, despite repeated pleas from the city over the years that he lend his name or presence to various local events and activities. Once his parents died, he never returned to Springfield again for any reason for over 22 years.

Shortly before his death however, Seuss made a controversial trip to Springfield to visit his old hometown one last time. Unfortunately the notoriously publicity shy author found himself trailed throughout his visit by publicity hungry politicos and local dignitaries looking for autographs and photo-ops. A limousine tour of Springfield with then Mayor Richard Neal and others backfired when Seuss was said to have exclaimed in dismay when seeing the "revitalized" downtown, "What have you done to my city? This is not my home!"

Some feared that by turning an old man's sentimental journey into a public relations and publicity spectacle, the city had blown whatever chance it had to work its way into the Seuss inheritance. The complete absence of any mention of Springfield in the author's will seemed to confirm those fears. Yet the widow Geisel was here last month with a million dollar freebie in her purse, so maybe a meaningful relationship between Springfield and the Seuss Estate will be possible after all.

If Dr. Seuss was the favorite son Springfield always yearned to claim, then the opposite could be said for Springfield's least favorite son, Dr. Timothy Leary. The self-proclaimed "high-priest" of the 60's LSD movement, Leary was once declared by President Richard Nixon to be "the most dangerous man in America."

Springfield has always been a bit shy about claiming such an outlaw as its own, but for his part Dr. Leary was always very upfront about discussing his Springfield roots. His extensive autobiographical writings provide us with one of the best accounts we have of what it was like to grow up in Springfield in the 1930's, and in interviews Leary always spoke of his years in Springfield in positive terms.

There is no attempt underway to erect any kind of shrine to Dr. Leary, although radical Attorney J. Wesley Miller (above) disrupted the main address at Springfield's Economic Summit recently by crying out for the erection of a "Timothy Leary Hall of Fame." The reaction of the dignitaries in attendance, which included Mayor Albano and Congressman Richard Neal, was dismissive laughter, although some in attendance welcomed Miller's outburst as one of the few genuinely entertaining moments of an otherwise dull affair. In any case there are no expectations of million dollar checks from Leary's heirs since he died almost penniless.

Yet are we missing an opportunity here? The fact that Leary was once one of the nation's most wanted fugitives, who ultimately spent years behind bars (at one point occupying the cell next to Charles Manson) should not completely discourage us from considering exploiting his Springfield origins. After all, there are places out West where people spend good money to see sites associated with Jesse James and Billy the Kid, and those guys were cold-blooded murderers. All Doctor Leary did was try to liberate some minds. Surely there are plenty of old acidheads out there who would spend money to come to Springfield to visit a shrine to Dr. Leary. It's something worth thinking about.

Speaking of J. Wesley Miller, in his later years he was notorious for, among many other eccentricities, appearing at public events in an electric orange jump suit. He had a reason for that (no matter how odd his acts, Wesley always had his reasons) and he explained it to me in a letter when he first began his orange jumpsuit phase. Notice how the envelope had a little commentary in the corner about Johnson's bookstore. 

Here is the letter that was inside.




The excellent blog Exploring Western Massachusetts has this picture of 195 State Street taken in 1905. It was an insurance company then. 

Today it is the Springfield School Department, and this is how it looks 103 years later in 2008. 

I like this trippy little cul-de-sac located across from the Calvin Coolidge Tower at UMass. 

A psychedelic mandala and a golden Egyptian God oversees all. 

On Ghosts

What are they?



This morning there was an article in the Springfield Republican stating that "investigators from the popular SciFi Channel TV series "Ghost Hunters" spent the past two evenings looking into what goes bump in the night at Theodores' and Smith Billiards at 201 Worthington St." I've seen Ghost Hunters and was bored by it. Still, according to the article the phenomenon they are supposed to be investigating sounds intriguing:

Workers at the century-old, five-story brick building have reported eerie occurrences including:

-- The loud sound of balls rolling across the vacant fourth and fifth floors, which housed a bowling alley 80 years ago.

-- Voices whispering to waitresses with no one in sight.

-- Ghostly footsteps in the club after closing time.

-- A chill in one part of Theodores' basement.

-- The apparition of a little boy seated on a pool table.

Yikes, that last one is especially creepy, however the bit about the bowling balls sounds sort of hokey. If the dead are up to anything, it ain't bowling. Besides, there could be non-supernatural explanations such as:

-- The loud sound of balls rolling across the vacant fourth and fifth floors, which housed a bowling alley 80 years ago.

Have you seen the size of the rats downtown? Probably just a few of them running around upstairs.

-- Voices whispering to waitresses with no one in sight.

Actually those are the flesh and blood customers trying to get service.

-- Ghostly footsteps in the club after closing time.

Oh c'mon, everybody knows about the after hour parties downtown.

-- A chill in one part of Theodores' basement.

Isn't Theodore's motto Booze, Blues and BBQ? Well, then chill out, that's where they store the soul of the blues between shows.

-- The apparition of a little boy seated on a pool table.

He's simply heard that Smitty's is a place where they don't check ID's.

Is there such a thing as a ghost? Probably, but they are almost certainly not the souls of dead people. It is actually disrespectful, if not sacrilegious, to think they are. An immortal human soul is spending its time rattling teacups to frighten innocent homeowners or stamping their feet to alarm bar patrons? I don't think so.

In Amherst across from the gates of the West Cemetery are the backs of a row of shops. Through the opaque glass of a dress shop this model's image looks very supernatural. I dare you to walk past it at night, the cemetery on one side and this image on the other, without getting the chills.

The persistence of ghost stories throughout human history makes me suspect there is something to at least some of the tales. I think that they represent phenomenon on the far edges of experience that we just don't understand yet, perhaps persistent patterns of energy that form when events of special psychological and physical intensity occur. Once upon a time we thought lightning and thunder was a supernatural occurrence - some even suggested it was the Gods bowling - but thanks to Ben Franklin, Thomas Edison and others we not only discovered that there was nothing magical about lightning but that it was a natural electrical force that could be harnessed to transform our world.

Ghosts are probably something like that, a sort of energy whose nature we don't quite grasp yet but which will be very enlightening when we do. Until then we seem to have fun giving each other the creeps over tales of ghostly appearances, and I guess there's no harm in that. 

In the early 1990's I thought I had lost my drivers license. Not lost it as I later would to drug violations, but physically lost the actual object. Of course once I went to the registry and paid for it to be replaced, then naturally the original reappeared. In my frustration and disgust I threw it in a box, where I discovered it again last week. Here I am as I appeared to the Registrar of Motor Vehicles in August of 1991.



Yesterday after we visited Leverett, Jeff Ziff and I crossed the town line into Shutesbury.

There we visited this cool conservation area.

It had something I've never seen before - a solar powered outhouse!

Despite it's camouflage skin we spotted this frog. Can you?

A traffic mirror was all the excuse we needed to ham it up.

 

Leverett Sawmill

Restoration Project.

 



This afternoon photographer Jeff Ziff and I were cruisin' around in his new truck when he suggested we check out an old sawmill he knew of in Leverett Ma. He knew about it from the days when he used to deliver for Holyoke's Cray's Soda. When we got there he told me that where this public gazebo stands there once stood an odd little place called Chapin's Store.

At the time the mill was owned by the Chapin family, the same people whose ancestor ended up immortalized in bronze next to the Springfield Quadrangle. 

The person who ran the store was also a Chapin and universally known simply as Doc Chapin. The place was so small and rustic that it was considered in its time as one of the most eccentric stores in the Valley.

Leverett had developed an eccentric reputation following the 1960's, when all kinds of hippies flocked to the town with dreams of returning to nature. That scene has all changed as Leverett has become a new frontier in gentrification, but remnants of its hippie sensibilities still pop up here and there. 

The sawmill itself is a masterpiece of New England charm. 

The mill dates back to 1740. It was allowed to fall into ruins, but is now in the midst of a major restoration. Apparently a special town meeting was required to fund the project, as this sign outside the mill suggests. 

Here is the waterfall that for centuries powered the machines that cut the wood. 

Although the restoration is in full swing, Jeff and I were allowed to go inside and check out the progress. It was weird to see the old machinery, remnants from a woodcutting era that is gone and will never return. 

I hope I will have a chance to return after the work is completed in order to see the old mill restored to its former glory and serving as a public history museum. 

Columnist Thomas Sowell really kicks butt in his latest critique of Barack Obama.

The kind of talk that won the votes — and the hearts — of the left-wing base of the Democratic Party during the primaries may not be enough to carry the day with voters in the general election. So Senator Obama has been changing his tune or, as he puts it, "refining" his message.

This was not the kind of "change" that the true believers among Obama's supporters were expecting. So there has been some wavering among the faithful and some ups and downs in the polls.

Despite an impressive political machine and a huge image makeover this year to turn a decades-long, divisive grievance-promoting activist into someone who is supposed to unite us all and lead us into the promised land of "change," little glimpses of the truth keep coming out.

 

Among the more colorful characters in downtown Northampton is a guy most people know as Boxcar. In this video by Jim Neill of the blog Life in the Nohodome Boxcar plays harmonica and tries to tell an anecdote about Jerry Garcia. 

Mass Prez Polls 2008

The latest numbers. 

 



While the race for President of the United States is neck and neck at the national level, the race for who is going to carry our state of Massachusetts is not nearly as competitive. In an article today in the Springfield Republican, local GOPers are quoted as saying Republican John McCain can carry the state. In theory it is not impossible, as McCain was very popular here in the primaries of the 2000 election, with many prominent Democrats (such as Springfield's Charles V. Ryan) re-registering just so they could vote for McCain.

Yet that was when the alternative was George W. Bush, and now that a full-fledged liberal Democrat like Barack Obama is the other choice the enthusiasm for McCain is not nearly as high. Still, McCain is the first Republican since Ronald Reagan (who carried Massachusetts in 1984) to have at least an outside chance of winning here. In fact recent polls indicate that the Obama/McCain race is tightening in Massachusetts.

In July, the Rasmussen Report had Obama trouncing McCain in Massachusetts by a 55% to 31% margin. In their August poll, Obama has slipped four points to 51% while McCain has enjoyed a five point surge to 38%. That's still not enough to place an Obama victory in Massachusetts in serious doubt, but it is not the direction the state Obama campaign would like to see things trending. Another bad month like that for the Obama camp and Massachusetts may slip into the toss-up category.

The results are even more ominous sounding for the Obama effort in Massachusetts in the latest Suffolk University poll. They claim the race is even tighter, with Obama having slipped below fifty percent:

Democrat Barack Obama (47 percent) leads Republican John McCain (38 percent) by 9 percent among Massachusetts voters, according to a poll released today by 7NEWS/Suffolk University. Green Party nominee Cynthia McKinney and Libertarian Party nominee Bob Barr each polled 1 percent, while 13 percent of voters surveyed were undecided.

The poll sharply contrasts with a June 7NEWS/Suffolk University poll, which showed Obama with a 23-point lead, 53 percent to 30 percent.

The biggest McCain gains came among Western Massachusetts voters, men, middle-aged voters, and independents.

Despite a once twenty-three point lead shrinking to just nine points, Obama's victory in Massachusetts still seems probable - but with numbers plunging that fast, it can no longer be called a certainty. At the very least it suggests a previously unimaginable prospect: Obama having to spend valuable time and money campaigning in Massachusetts to keep our state from slipping away to McCain.

The Rasmussen Poll also asked some interesting questions not related to the presidential race:



Incumbent Senator John Kerry, the Democratic presidential nominee in 2004, remains far ahead of his Republican challenger Jeff Beatty 56% to 29%.

For 43% of Massachusetts voters, economic issues are their number one concern this election cycle, with 24% listing national security as their top concern. This parallels findings nationwide. In 2004, national security was the number one voter issue. Unlike voters in most other states, a plurality (48%) say protecting the environment is more important than reducing the price of gas and oil, although nearly as many (41%) see it the other way around. Only 38% believe the United States has the best economy in the world.

Forty-four percent (44%) believe the United States and its allies are winning the war on terror, while 24% think the terrorists are winning. Forty-two percent (42%) agree with Obama that Afghanistan is the central front in the war on terror. Fifty-four percent (54%) also say Afghanistan is a greater threat to the United States than Iraq, although 21% rank Iraq as the greater threat.

For the second month in a row, just 21% of Massachusetts voters think President Bush is doing a good or excellent job, while 59% rate his performance as poor, down from 64% a month ago. An equal number (59%) say Bush will be regarded as one of America’s worst presidents, but 30% say history will view his performance as average and 7% say he will be seen as one of the best U.S. chief executives.

 

Sometime in the 1990's Kateri Walsh sent me this WHYN Christmas card. Below it is a listing of the people in the photo, which was shot on the steps of Springfield City Hall. (click photo to enlarge)

 




On the streets of Amherst today this hot car was cruising. 

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

-Groucho Marx

Banal in the Extreme

Why the Times' critic slammed Springfield.

 

"A noble cityscape....decimated by arrogant architects and city planners." (J.Ziff photo)

 

The following is a reprint of an article by Kris Hundley that originally appeared in the Valley Advocate on May 12, 1986. It is a devastating condemnation of the so-called "economic redevelopment" of downtown Springfield by one of the nation's most respected urban experts. It is also a valuable document of local history never before made available online.

Springfield: "Banal in the Extreme"
Critic Paul Goldberger appraises Springfield's architecture 
by Kris Hundley

Paul Goldberger, Pulitzer prize-winning architectural critic of The New York Times came to Springfield recently and told city fathers, in no uncertain terms, that the downtown development they've overseen in the last two decades has been a disaster. But David Starr, publisher of the Springfield Newspapers and member of a panel discussing Goldberger's comments, defended the city's record. "Whatever we've done badly, we've planned it that way," Starr said.

Goldberger, whose visit was the third in a series of lectures on the future of Springfield, told his audience, "I come away after a day in your city with both optimism and pessimism. You have a noble cityscape with a truly great stock of older buildings and as good a sense of what to do with them as any city in America. But you've been decimated in recent years by arrogant architects and city planners." Calling recent architecture "the real Achilles' heel of Springfield," Goldberger blasted downtown skyscrapers as "banal in the extreme, dull, stark, cold and indifferent to the street."

Goldberger, who gave his lecture in the historic First Church on Court Square, diplomatically tempered his criticism of recent debacles with praise for preservationist efforts. "Poverty may have been Springfield's best friend during the 1950's and '60's, because it led to passive preservation of old buildings," Goldberger said. "And lately, the preservationist instinct here seems phenomenal. But there are few cities where the old is so uniformly good and the new so generally disappointing."

Singled out for criticism were buildings which have been touted by local movers and shakers as the flagships of downtown revitalization. "Baystate West is bad, but Center Square, right across the street, is even more disappointing," Goldberger told an audience which included Starr, Mayor Richard E. Neal and Carlo Marchetti, director of Springfield Central, the agency responsible for co-ordinating downtown development. "You have a main corner in the city, which has been shut off and left empty, with an uninviting plaza that does no one any good. That building represents not an understanding of the urban experience, but an attempt to recreate a suburban mall. And a city should offer a powerful alternative to the suburbs."

Based on his observations of the Bank of Boston Building, Goldberger said that city planners had learned little from the mistakes of Baystate West. "Neither building was constructed as much as whirred out of a computer or dropped by helicopter, they have so little relation to the street," he said. "While you have atriums and open spaces, there's a desire for control that makes everything canned and packaged. These public-quasi-private spaces are separated from the street and they lack the potential of surprise that is essential to the urban experience."

Goldberger said it was "sad that the Federal government had it in for Springfield," in the design of the new Federal Building and he nailed the Civic Center as "one of the real mistakes of this city." Referring to Court Square, he said, "This has the potential to be one of the finest urban spaces in any medium sized city. But the Civic Center is by far the weakest link. Something should be done with real responsibility to help - if not hide - that building."

The critic also pointed out important gaps in downtown development. "The killer is the missing teeth. It's not good to see a parking lot at the corner of Main and State streets - one of the most important corners in town. You have lots of room for downtown development."

Other negatives cited by Goldberger included the Main Street airwalk connecting Baystate West and Steiger's. "I don't think much of airwalks, but that one seems particularly heavy handed and uglier than it has to be," he said. "It's like a great steel door that blocks the street and the unfolding vista. You lose something important." And while he bemoaned the placement of the highway between the city and the river, Goldberger said he feared future plans might make the situation even worse. "The one thing I heard today that gave me pause was that there are plans to construct a second layer of parking under the freeway. I think that's a questionable plan, because now at least, you can look under the highway and see the river. If there's a double deck of parking, all you will see is a solid wall."

Although he generously withheld criticism of Monarch Place now under construction, Goldberger did drop one warning. "The stone and precast concrete they're using looks promising, but I'm not confident of the used of mirrored glass on the one side facing the municipal group. You have one of the great, medium-sized public complexes in America, but I think one of them is enough."

On the positive side, Goldberger praised Springfield's neighborhoods, particularly Forest Park, McKnight, and Mattoon Street, which, he said "bowled me over." "There's also a concern for the little things in this town, like the Forest Park street car shelter, and little green islands and flowers. Things that are critical to the quality of city life. There seems to be an understanding that a city is not made up of great, grand gestures, but of small steps, and hundreds of little parts. If the people can only dictate their wishes to the architects of downtown, it may yield in our lifetime a city as great as the Springfield of half a century ago."

Following Goldberger's talk, several of the architects of downtown defended their actions. Springfield Central's Marchetti said, "While we're all quite pleased with what we've done in the past 10 years, we must accept your challenge to great design." And David Starr insisted that the city fathers should be praised for at least having a plan, however it may have turned out to be.

"I agree that the SIS building (Center Square) is quite bad, but at least it was built where we wanted it build," Starr said. "We were determined to use public places our own way, though we may not have succeeded in most of the aesthetics."

 

This is a picture I stumbled upon of Jerry Garcia and Phil Lesh at the Springfield Civic Center in 1979.

Heather, who works at the Amherst Survival Center, came in wearing a new hat yesterday.

 



She even had matching sneakers.

Finally, only in Northampton do people sing at City Council meetings. I wonder if they charged him the new $25 public performance permit fee. 

Springfield Not Dead Yet

Down but not out.

 



People have been asking me what I think of the recent ranking of Springfield by the prestigious Forbes Magazine as a "dying city." Frankly I never know what to say about such lists. So much depends on in what context you consider them, whether it is this Forbes list, or other unflattering lists Springfield has made in the past, such as one of the most dangerous cities in America, or the one back in the 90's where BusinessWeek reported Springfield to be in the top ten of cities whose residents were anxious to move out of. I mean what is there to say? Who can deny that Springfield has been in a downward spiral for decades? Who can deny that the crime rate is unacceptably high? Who can deny that people have fled Springfield in large numbers?

But such lists seldom tell the whole story. Forbes has this to say in the mere snapshot analysis it gives to Springfield.

Springfield, Mass.-Conn., Metropolitan NECTA)

Migration (since 2000): -16,626

Total population change: +2,643

June 2008 Unemployment: 5.9 % (2000 average: 3.0%)

Annualized GDP growth: 1%

The western Massachusetts home to Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance and Smith & Wesson has suffered for a long time as the Northeast becomes less and less a destination for manufacturing. To stave off the decline, Springfield has partnered with Hartford, Conn.--25 miles to the south--and rebranded itself New England's "Knowledge Corridor," because of the presence of so many universities--UConn, Amherst, Smith, Mount Holyoke and Wesleyan to name a few.

This is not a picture of pure gloom. True, the unemployment rate has nearly doubled since 2000 and the economic growth rate is an anemic one percent. But wouldn't you expect a dying city to have a contracting economy? The fact that Springfield is still capable of economic growth, however weak, proves that the city still has a pulse. Yes, Springfield has fallen to a pitiful state, but the word "dying" is overstating the problem. Springfield remains a deeply troubled city, but it is still a long way from being a dead one.

The credibility of the Forbes verdict on Springfield is further undermined by the nonsense they write about how supposedly "Springfield has partnered with Hartford, Conn.--25 miles to the south--and rebranded itself New England's "Knowledge Corridor". The truth is Springfield and Hartford have never been able to overcome their competitive relationship enough to work together in any meaningful way, and no one is calling the region the "Knowledge Corridor" who isn't getting paid to do so.

But even if the city isn't really dying, one would truly wish that the response of Springfield's officials to the city making these unflattering lists would be more reality based. Since the 1980's, when critics were denounced as "naysayers" and "non-team players" it has seemed impossible for the city's leaders to take constructive criticism, which is really how these lists should be interpreted. We don't have to buy into all the negative hype to none the less agree that things are not going well.

Just once it would be nice to hear a public official come forward in response to a negative appraisal of the city and say something like, "It's true that we could be doing much better. Across the board firings in all departments are necessary to bring in fresh people with fresh ideas." Or for economic development officials to say, "Our attempts at revitalizing the city have failed miserably. We are glad to step down in order to give others an opportunity to do what we could not." Or to hear voters say, "These incumbents have repeatedly failed to perform. I am voting for newcomers this election to give some other people a chance."

One bright spot is that if Springfield officials are still playing ostrich, the public need not do so thanks to the internet. Sure enough, immediately following the Springfield Newspaper's article full of quotes from apologists and excuse makers, there is a whole lot of comments from clear eyed residents who aren't falling for the happy talk. One of the best is from someone calling themselves LizzyT:

Really?

The president of "Spirit of Springfield" disputes Forbes' ranking?
And the mayor doesn't abide by the "opinion" that Springfield is falling apart?
And the South End Citizens Council president thinks things are looking up?
And the vice president of the Chamber of Commerce thinks Springfield has "made adjustments"?

Well, shut your mouth, Forbes Magazine, with your "science" and "statistics" and "specifics"! Those 30 chambermaid jobs at the Hampton Inn are poised to brighten Springfield's star.

Springfield officials need to quit whining about the loss of manufacturing jobs: manufacturing has been a withering industry for forty years and still people tip over with surprise when the Acme Paper Clip factory shuts down.

No one under retirement age is interested in doing those jobs. Most people go to college, and when they get out, they expect to do challenging work that pays them well. Those are the people who make money, who spend money, who drive up home values, and whose incomes and employers provide a healthy tax base and create a healthy city.

And what does having a new police commissioner and new school superintendent have to do with anything? All that tells me is you've got turnover in two jobs where whatever unlucky soul fills them drives around with economy-sized bottles of Tums in the glove compartment.

Burgeoning industries Springfield may be able to make headway in:

1) Creepy feelings as you walk to your car after eating at Theodores'.
2) Jumpy, wiry guys who ask you for money and then follow you to your car when you refuse.
3) Fitness training based on the accelerated walking pace one has to employ to keep from being accosted. Great for old people, as they love walking for fitness.
4) Describing political leaders as "haircuts."
5) Empty storefronts to be photographed by edgy undergraduates.
6) Homeless guys to be photographed by edgy undergraduates for $5.
7) Wistful feelings about "the old days."
8) Racist ranting about unemployed black residents.
9) The squashed dreams of children who had the misfortune to be born in a city with a cr@p tax base.
10) Delis that sell apples with dust on them.

Perhaps there are grants available.

To read more witty words of wisdom from Springfield supporters click here and read the comments section following the article.

Young male deer are in danger whenever this truck from Amherst is around. 

For my first sober birthday in decades my sisters took me to dinner at the Westwood Restaurant in Westfield. It used to be some kind of factory, and pictures of its past life hang on the wall for viewing, that is if some fool doesn't stand in the way. 

Older

Again.

Today is my birthday.

That's pretty cool. A year ago I was an addict and dying.

Today I am more alive than ever. God is merciful, few people who go down as far as I did ever comes back up. When I did I first opened my eyes and then I opened my hands and saw that a shiny white pearl was in each palm.

This weekend some friends took me out to a pre-birthday dinner at Amherst Chinese. Beforehand I played tourist guide by bringing them to Emily Dickinson's grave in downtown Amherst. They took my picture but wouldn't let me take theirs.

I asked why they didn't want their picture taken and they said they didn't want to appear on this blog. They said they wanted to preserve their privacy.

Privacy? What's that?

There were many offerings left on Dickinson's grave, including a harmonica. We left a burning candle.

 



The candle burned into the night, where it may have served as a beacon to lost spirits who perhaps might gather at Miss Emily's grave for a poetry slam.

Outside Amherst Chinese was this sticker. 

It reads "Religions are our attempt to give form to the divine because we suck at contemplating raw infinity."

If I catch myself thinking about aging I try to remember what the wise Pine Pine philosopher Miss Mean Mary Jean once said, "Whenever I find myself worrying about getting older, I remind myself of those I have known who were denied the privilege."

How old am I?

Old enough to know better but still too young to care.